i feel like ranting

 

i’m not happy with my job anymore.

i don’t like the person i’ve become because of this.  i don’t like the fact that it makes me doubt myself all the time. i don’t like it that i’ve become more paranoid than i already am (can you imagine?!) or that my temper has been less forgiving.

i don’t like it that i’m spending most of my day doing something i really have grown tired of doing. day in, day out. even when i’m dreaming.

i don’t like it that i’m ranting about not liking my work all  the time now.  i get irritated with myself so i can just imagine what it must be for my friends aka my sounding boards. it must be hell. i’m spewing nothing but negative thoughts, negative vibes, nega, nega, nega.

my friend once told me that i wouldn’t be happy with myself if i left my job because it’s too hard for me. but does it really have to be this hard? was it meant to be this hard?

and if i could rant as much as this, i think that’s a clear indication of where i’m headed to next.

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~ by moonsparks on June 20, 2011.

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